Reindeer, and walruses and polar bears! Oh my!

Dear JoAnna,

I am very sorry that you have not been able to find a job. The economy these days!

And I am also sorry about your dishwasher. Maybe when you wash dishes by hand, you can pretend that you are at our house and we’re washing dishes together. Now doesn’t that sound like fun? We had a similar situation here, as our air conditioning went out. The temperature was at least 92, which is not actually all that pleasant.

I am not as sorry that you have finished The Two Towers. In fact, I am actually rather happy. You may not have known it, but LOTR happens to be my favourite book. Like, in the whole wide world. On second thought, I may have mentioned that once or twice.

In all honesty, I’m not entirely sure what to say about the Anti Monkey Butt Powder. In fact, I’m not entirely sure what having a monkey butt entails. I can’t imagine it would be pretty.

I bought some dental floss today and, unfortunately, ended up with the wrong kind. How could dental floss be the wrong kind, you ask? Well, it’s the wrong kind when it costs $6. Someone stuck it on the wrong hook and I was very sad. Because I was with other people and the store was closing, I was not able to exchange it. This all reminds me of a time when I paid € 4.70 for a coke in front of the Sagrada Familia.

LYLAS, Rebekah

P.S. Do you remember in middle school, when we all used to sign-off on notes with "LYLAS," or some other equally inane acronym?

P.P.S. Did you know that National Geographic books expeditions? Maybe we should try one of those. They will even take you to the Arctic. Reindeer, and walruses and polar bears! Oh my!